Dirtbagistan

I’m back at the Bishop City Park once again. I bummed a ride into town with two guys that I have been hanging out with for the last couple days, John and Ryan. John has been out here for about as long as I have, although I never went and talked to him except for the other day. I didn’t feel the best in the morning and decided to get some things done around the “house” (clean up the mess that had accumulated over the last few days). He came over and we played some cribbage and shot the bull. He was taking a break from climbing because he popped a pulley in one of his fingers trying a V10. I could probably climb that hard if I looked like him too. He’s about 6’3” and built like a popsicle stick. He is from Craig Colorado, which he was surprised to find out that I actually knew where that was, and that he went to college in Durango, CO, where is pretty close to where I elk hunt. He has a masters in Chemistry and can’t find a job. He has the same debate going on within himself that I do, the weighing notion of trying to live this kind of lifestyle versus a “normal” job. We had a good long talk about the pros and cons of each, which pretty much wasted time due to the fact that we didn’t come up with a conclusion.

His buddy, Ryan, who is from Pagosa Springs, CO (where I elk hunt, what a small world!), came the other day and we spent a good amount of time on Fly Boy Arete (V5) up in the Buttermilks. Too bad there was a wind that could snatch away small children if they weren’t clinging to their parent. We literally got sandblasted when the wind would gust. My guess was somewhere in the 50mph range. Anyway, we made good progress on the problem and could do every move, but lacked the energy to link them all together for the send. I think we are going to go back on Sunday, which I hear is Easter. It’s amazing how living this lifestyle makes you so unaware of what is going in the outside world or even what day it is. We had a 5 minute discussion about if it was Wednesday or Thursday while Ryan drove his shockless Suburu over the washboard road to the Happies this morning at roughly half the speed of a toddler’s crawl. He likes to drive slow everywhere; and by slow, I mean roughly ten to twenty mph under the speed limit. Good thing most people in Bishop don’t have places to go in a hurry.

 (Ryan on Serengeti (V5) )

It has been pretty damn windy here the last couple of days and made a hellhole out of Dirtbagistan (I have officially renamed The Pit to this). If you are a resident of Dirtbagistan, you are either a cheap climber (except for The Mob, which are climbers that come from the weekend that are either from the Bay area or L.A.), or you are a drunken old fella who obviously has no other ties to society and likes to tell others how they should live their life. I plan on distributing a free paper of the happenings in the republic of Dirtbagistan. The headlines for the upcoming issue are; “Join The Navy! How giving a little time now will let you dirtbag forever!”, “Why you should be gone to climb on shit pumping mornings”, “Young woman screams at lover for half an hour” and “How to avoid the old drunks” I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a big hit, even if people just use it to wipe their ass at a local crag.

I’m also pretty sure Toyota has special sales just to climbers. You can only get a white Tacoma with a matching topper though. They must run one hell of a deal on this since every one and their unruly dog that runs around the crag rampant has one. I did see something cool vehicle wise the other day though. It was a Honda Element, which has four wheel drive and the seat fold and slide up to make a full 6 feet of sleeping space, with a pop up high top like a VW Westfalia. It seems like it would be a worthy thing to live out of if you are a dirtbagger. Of course, if you have enough money to have that, you probably aren’t a dirtbagger, or you are and just won the lottery!

Let’s talk about cooking and baking, specifically the hassles of not having a fridge that runs off of propane and a temperamental oven. Let’s start with the oven. I finally figured out how to bake somewhat properly in the blasted thing. First, you must give it an offering of a virgin. Ok, not really but it seemed like it would when I first started. It actually must be turned 25 degrees cooler than whatever it is your cooking calls for. Second, you must place what I call a “heat diversion device” underneath the baked item. This apparently makes the heat go around it and not burn the bottom. Also, it can warp time! Yes, instead of a pizza taking 22-26 minutes to be done, it will be done in an amazing 16-18 minutes. I’m going to try to videotape this phenomenon, but I’m guessing it has some sort of defence mechanism that will turn the tape into mush once I would try to play it back and show someone.

The second issue is the fridge. Keeping it cold was costing me $10.50 a week in ice… Not cool. I decided that I would go with refrigeration of any kind for the last two weeks and see how it went….Hell! Ok, not hell but not easy. I have no butter, I have no cheese, I have no meat, and thus PB&J’s have been slowly depressing me into a state of chaos. I have been frantically asking other’s about what they do for lunch since they are dirtbaggers, problem is, is that they all have coolers, SHIT! Since I’m going to be living out of this trailer until at least October, I have come to the conclusion of breaking down and spending the money on a gas operated fridge. I haven’t looked into all the options yet, but as of right now, its in the vicinity of 8 Benjamins. I don’t want to deal with going to get ice two times a week and burritos are just not as good without cheese.  

This hasn't been edited at all and probably is going to read like something a 3rd grader with ADHD would write. Running out of battery and we have to get to the hot springs. Peace out folks!

Climbing, Jobs and Life

I’m currently at the Laundromat doing my first load on this journey that has cost me money, and boy is it ever; 2.50 a wash and “50 cents to start” for drying! I got a buck out of a machine that kept spitting quarters at me though, right on! Good thing being a dirtbag means you wear clothes over and over again. You put them in piles that are roughly categorized by activity, how many times you have worn them and stankiness. If it wasn’t for my sheets that I forgot to wash back at Mike’s, I could have gotten by with one load for just over two weeks. Not too shabby if I say so myself.

Just another week in paradise I guess. I sent my first V5, Serengeti, up at the Happies last weekend. I also sent my first 5.11 the other day in the Gorge, and it was an .11b at it! I can feel my skin is getting tougher and I’m getting stronger. My pants are fitting a little looser also, although I didn’t really have much to lose. I bought a pair of climbing shorts the other day, size 32 and they are still a bit big!

I’ve been climbing with Matt and then we have also been climbing with a Canadian named Ian. Ian is a medical resident up in Victoria, BC. I wish I had a picture of him; he looks just like Luigi, ya know, Mario’s brother! YUP, he’s got the mustache, green sweat shirt and a beret type hat! We have been mostly climbing down in the Gorge and that’s definitely been testing my endurance. It’s good for me though, boulder some and get strong, then climb some and get endurance. One day we were bouldering up at the Happies and ran into some guys from Truckee. Greg and Rob were their names and said they would love to put me on some sweet problems and routes up there along with mountain bike riding! I love this place, meeting all sorts of new people that are willing to help you out. Well that’s the climbing community for ya. 

 ( Lake Tahoe from my moving truck)

Speaking of Truckee, I went up there on Sunday afternoon for my interview and a date. I met Lauren online though one of them dating websites ( I figure it costs a lot less to do that then try to pick up women at the bar). We met at the Casa Baeza, a quaint little Mexican joint with really good food. I found out quickly though that things are going to be pricey in Truckee. A smallish meal there with two Coronas cost me 18 bucks! That and gas was somewhere in the vicinity of $4.50. Anyway, we had a good time talking and I like her. She said she wants to try to climb and I said I’m more than willing to show a noob the ropes.  I drove out to Boca for the night and slept in my truck. I got up early and went into town and had coffee with Lauren in the morning at a little coffee shop and used bookstore. I then went to my interview and rocked the socks off of it. I got the job and will be working 20 hours a week as a watercraft inspector. I will have to do some mild disinfecting of boats and try to get people to take surveys. It’s a completely voluntary program as of right now to keep invasive species out of the local watershed. I have paid training on April 27-29^th. I haven’t heard of anything from Jay, my campground host manager as of late. The snow wasn’t too bad when I was at Boca and I assume that by the end of the month I will have training for that also. Until then, I’m just going to bum here in Bishop and crush the rock!

 ( Geese at Boca Resevoir)

I baked for the first time in my trailer the other night. It was a bit chilly and I figured I might as well heat up the place a little by baking. I baked a dozen and a half muffins. For some reason, the bottom always is slightly burnt and the top is done. I think the oven doesn’t circulate well enough and that next time I’m going to break down and buy them damn little muffin cup things. I just eat the tops and insides and they are quite a delicious break from oatmeal, which is my normal breakfast with raisins and brown sugar.

 ( A typical breakfast for me )

At the Gorge the other day, we were invited to “The Zoo” in town here. It’s a older gentleman’s house named Paul who has some climbers live there and invites all the local climbers and some people from the pit to have “Family Night” at his house every Wednesday. What a great place! It has a sick ass home built woody that is covered outside, a sauna, and everything inside is outdoor adventure related. It’s such a laid back place with cool people. It was Frank’s birthday and they had more people than normal I guess. All in all, there were probably 30 people there or so, including Kevin Jorgeson. I know only you climbers (the two of you) that will ever read this will think that you have heard of that name before. Think of Evilution V12 in the Buttermilks in the movie Progression. For you non-climbers, this guy does super hard bouldering at 40 feet plus! Think serious injury or death if you fall!

Ian went down to Red Rocks (Las Vegas) to climb with his girlfriend the other day and I think Matt and I are going to go down and join them for two days early next week. We are planning on doing a 6 pitch (400 foot roughly) .10c. I’ve never done a multi-pitch route but I feel that if we run through a couple small things that it will be just fine. There is a couple 2 pitch routes in the Gorge and I’m guessing we are going to try our hand at some easy ones there first. Matt’s car gets 30-something mpg so the trip is going to cost me less than 50 bucks and it will be an amazing experience. I’m excited!

I’ll be happy to making some money in a couple weeks and living this lifestyle the last couple weeks has made me think about what I really want to do with my life. I keep running into folks that had “normal” jobs, end up hating them, and return to living free. I ask them what about the future and they say that living now and enjoying themselves is all they care about. I can see that point and want to live that way, but I think to have a plan for later is also necessary. I'm kind of torn on what to do after my jobs are done in October. Part of me wants to just dirtbag it and love life, aka ski job, campground host in winter down south, etc. Part of me wants to actually have a career, but the problem with a career is that you are tied down and only get two weeks of vacation a year. America is so backwards on that, they don't realize that people would get more done if they weren't as stressed as work. If people had more time to do what they want, they could be more productive and more happy at work. We need to take a lesson from the Europeans here. If I could settle in a place like Bishop with inordinate amounts of outdoor activities to do, then I think I could handle it. I could get out and do a bouldering session after work and go somewhere new on the weekend. I don't know, we will see how the summer goes and decide then I guess.
Until next time, keep your stick on the ice! 

 ( Near the Happies at sunset)

 (Owen's River and mountain at dusk )

Dirtbag Diary

Here I sit in my trailer trying to retrace the last week. My hand hurts, I’m out $80 more than I should be, not at my interview like I should be, and I had to walk 4 miles in the dark with temps around 25 degrees. I’ll get to that at the end though.

I’ve been bouldering and climbing my little heart out during the past week. I’ve done some really cool problems and routes. I spent a couple days with Magnus and Dan, then Dan had to leave back across the pond to the land of people drinking stout ales and yelling at their favorite football teams. Magnus was going to go back with him, but he didn’t need to be back to Sweden for a week. I offered to let him stay with me in the trailer. 

(Magnus climbing Solaruim (V4) )

(Me on a tricky V1 - Laughing Cow)

 (Me on The Hulk (v6), the crux is a little too much for me, maybe next year)

Well, after I week, I haven’t strangled him with his own socks, so all is good. We have been getting up every morning, having tea and breakfasts of all sorts, then heading out to boulder.

We had a partial rest day on Tuesday and went to the local hot springs. It’s actually the runoff water from a commercial hot springs, but its free compared to a stiff $8. We got there and a fella saw my Minnesota plates and asked what I was doing. I told him my story and he was so awestruck by it. He offered me a soda. I went into the cooler and it rivaled the local liquor store for the amount of goods per square inch. He had several hard liquors and beers and I figured out why he was so interested in my story. Maybe you should all drink and these posts would get better also! I digress, we spent a good while in a pool by ourselves. We were not too happy with ourselves because two good looking climber girls (and by good looking, I mean they were the first women I had seen in several months in a bikini….) had just got out. Instead we had a older vandwelling gentleman pull up beside the pool, drop trow, and fail to put on anything! Thankfully he took his wrinkly ass to another pool to haunt another couple.

We came back to the campground and found the two ladies that had graced us with a fleeting presence at the hot springs. They actually were quite alright up close too surprisingly. We got another fella that Magnus knew and we played Shithead. I had never played but won, beginner’s luck I reckon. We had plenty of beers and then picked up another chap that was originally from Boston but has lived the last several years as a Kiwi. Quite an interesting accent if you mix the two! We cooked Mac and Cheese because Magnus had never had it before. I also prepared some venison chops and everyone loved that. The girls never came! They were supposed to come over afterward for card games in the trailer, typical women, teases….

We then went sport climbing in the Owen’s River Gorge with the two guys we meet the night before. Magnus and I warmed up on some 5.8’s and boy, did I sure lose climbing endurance over the winter! After them and a bit of rest we moved to a 5.9 and that felt good. I then toproped a .10d and didn’t fall. I was surprised at how well I was doing! I onsighted a .10b and .10a also. What an amazing day! I forgot how much I loved going up higher than 15 feet. I hope to get a couple more days in at the Gorge before I leave.

Thursday night was bad. A storm rolled through with some gusts that I’m guessing were at least in the 50mph range. The whole trailer was shaking and I couldn’t sleep from 1:30 to 4:00. I felt bad for the people in the tents. They must have had no sleep at all, especially whoever had put the broken tent in the dumpster this morning. Good thing there wasn’t any precipitation last night, else they would have had a hell of a night. It was also very cold this morning. Magnus and I were on our second pot of tea when the campground host came and gave us a visit. He said that due to congress not being able to come to a budget agreement (we had no idea of such news, we haven’t heard any news besides there is a famous climber in Bishop working on a new project), that the campground might have to close on Monday! Even the host would have to leave! What a crock of shit. Just become some fucking big whigs in D.C. can’t play nicely with each other, all the people here and at every other federal campsite (not to mention federal jobs) are getting screwed. I debated to go to the Truckee/Reno area and stay there until I have training, but it doesn’t make sense financially. I am going to have to move the trailer a half mile down to the river for a hefty $10 a night. $8 more than the pit here but a little more scenic, still with no amenities accept the hand water pump we have been using for the past week. We fill up gallon jugs and then pour them into my tank in the trailer so we have running water. “Luxury” as Magnus puts it.

 (Matt and Justin filling up a gas can with water)

Now, to the reason why my hand hurts and I’m out dough. It all started last night around 6:30. Magnus wanted to “light paint” a tree with the stars as the background. I had previously agreed and we shipped on down to a small pull off by the Happies. We took some sunset photos that were so-so. Then waited for what liked seemed forever for the stars to come out. During which, we listened to country on the one of three “decent” radio stations in Bishop. The news came on at 7 saying that there was no progress in the budget debate and it didn’t look like they were going to make the midnight Friday deadline. SWEET…. Then I started the truck to make sure the battery wasn’t too drained. I could hear the belt squeaking but it was cold out and I didn’t blame it for whining. All of a sudden smoke started pouring out of the hood, uh oh. I quick pulled the hood latch, shut off the engine and turned on my headlamp. Just as I lifted the hood, I got to witness the serpentine belt snap. SWEET…. Magnus took his pictures and I didn’t care much to take any. We ended up hiking the roughly 4 miles back to my trailer and good thing we bundled up, it was cold! My mind was racing on what to do since I had to be in Truckee at noon tomorrow and Magnus had to catch a bus at the same time. Truckee is 4 hours away and it was supposed to be snowing the whole way up. Good thing I had internet on my phone. Napa opened at 8 and O’Reiley’s at 7:30. O’Reiley’s it was. Hopefully we could get it fixed and on the road by 8:15 and book ass to Truckee. WRONG…. Turns out the belt had melted the plastic on the tension pulley. We tried to run it anyway to make sure that was the only thing wrong. It wasn’t. The compressor for the A/C had seized up and was causing more smoke on the new belt. SWEET… Back to town we go in Matt’s (the Kiwi) little Honda that was packed to the brim. I called around and no one had the correct belt to bypass the A/C, but we found a belt that was close. Now, if it was just close enough was the question. Matt and I went back to the truck, Magnus wanted to be dropped off so he could hitchhike to Reno or South Lake Tahoe to catch a ride to San Francisco or Sacramento. Hope he’s doing well. Hard way to part, but there was nothing I could do for him.

Back to the truck, Matt and I put on the new pulley and the new belt. It doesn’t fit but it’s really close… Between some old Indian tricks and brute strength, we get the sucker on. Everything runs fine, minus the A/C, but I will fix that on another date. Shouldn’t need it too much in Truckee I reckon. During the brute strength process, I managed to pull the muscle between my thumb and finger.

Matt is going to be here for a couple weeks and has no climbing partner as of right now. It looks as if I’ll be doing the Death March into and out of The Gorge quite a bit. It’s a roughly 500 foot descent into an abyss that very well looks like Frankenstein could inhabit it. Power lines and a power plant that hiss constantly kind of ruin the atmosphere, but the climbing is amazing and the rock is superb.

As for now, I’m just chilling and trying to recollect myself. I have to go to Truckee on Monday for the interview. I have to run to town to get Matt beer for his generosity,  and to post this writing. Until then, I’m going to try to stay warm, high’s only in the 30’s for the next two days. Makes me remember part of the reason I left Minnesota. Have a good one, eh!